Marriage is something that is integral part of any culture, especially Indian culture. After you reach a certain age, you would want to settle down with one person. That’s when you start searching for a partner. Given that so many people want to get married and are finding partners, we all struggle with one question, which is, what is the right time?
There is no answer to this question except this, ‘Get married when you feel ready to get married’.
The people in their 20’s feel its too early and people in their 30’s feel that we have passed our time to find better partners. However, there is no perfect time that you can or should get married. The only thing that is important is that you should be ready to cope up with the needs and situations that come inside the marriage and be able to deal with it in a manner that is helpful for both of you and your marriage.
Getting Married Early vs Late : In your 20s vs In your 30s
Advantages of getting married in 20s:
- It gives more time to adapt and adjust to the new environment
- More time to know and understand each other and grow as a couple
- Easy family planning
- You can learn to adjust according to your partner and take decisions
- Gives you more time to choose someone you like rather than hurrying
Getting married in 20s gives you chance to explore your relationship together, align your dreams and goals together, set and reset healthy boundaries for each other and for your relationship together as well.
Let’s look at some disadvantages of getting married in 20’s:
- 60% of couples married between ages 20-25 end in divorce, while those who wait until they’re over age 25 are 24% less likely to get divorced.
- Sometimes can make you feel that you could explore life better and get some experiences
- You may grow individually and may outgrow your partner making you feel that you hurried on making a decision
- You may not have your own individuality or opinions
These can be possible disadvantages of getting married earlier, it is not necessary that you may have above mentioned problems in your relationship even if you have got married early.
Moving to advantages of getting married in 30s:
- Emotional maturity
- Established careers
- Better communication skills
- Stronger sense of self
- Greater compatibility
- Freedom to pursue goals
Marriage requires you to be emotionally matured to sail through the challenges and the ups and downs that it brings, which will require both of you to communicate effectively, handle the problems as a couple rather than as two individuals fighting the problem. Getting married in your 30s can help you a lot since you would have had the chance to have that emotional clarity and depth, established career to support yourself and your partner in a relationship, you would know what you want and where you want to reach in terms of your personal and professional goals. Knowing this can give you and your partner a lot of clarity in moving froward and setting marriage goals.
Let’s see if marrying in your 30s has disadvantages and what could they be:
- Difficulty in finding matches
- Possibility of the need to plan a family faster
- Lesser time to explore and spend time together
- Adjustment issues
- Feeling that either one has strong opinions
Let’s break these points down:
Difficulty in finding matches – There is a possibility that you may not get the preferred suitors for yourself, just a possibility, not a definite situation.
Possibility of the need to plan a family faster – This could be because either you really have your biological clock ticking and you can’t / don’t want to opt for alternative ways to plan family later or family pressure since you got married at a later age.
Lesser time to explore and spend time together – If you are thinking of starting a family soon, it may give you both less time to bond as partners and your time may be gone in giving more time and attention to the little one. It is also a possibility that you have stricter schedules of work that you may hinder your together time that you need to develop a strong bond of understanding between you two.
Adjustment issues – This part can happen whether you get married early or later stage of your life. But imagine that you have been living, thinking and believing in a certain way and now you have to adapt and/or adjust to new ways or perspectives. It can cause a little more friction when you get married in later years.
Feeling that either one has strong opinions – As mentioned above, we all are individuals who have gone through experiences that shape our thoughts, feelings and behaviors towards certain things and it is a possibility that when you get married later these thoughts, feelings and behaviors could either take time to fade away or help you adjust to new perspectives making your partner believe that you have strong opinions.
When to get married?
The answer is simple, whenever you are emotionally, mentally, physically & financially ready to get married is when you should get married. You should have that emotional capacity to be with someone and make them a part of your life because you will be living with them 24*7.
It’s not that age really matters, it’s also that the partner who you are with matters the most.
Wait until you find someone you think can help you, respect you, trust you and have open honest and vulnerable conversations with you. This is because your partner will always be the first person to understand you, support you, know you and help you. Until you find someone who can do these things for you, don’t settle because you will miss out on something or spending time together or have the pressure of having kids. Remember that it’s the company that matters not years, age, experiences as those are going to be there, the kind of bond that you share with your partner may be something that you can choose, choose it as per your needs and wants.
Early or late, marriage should be celebrated and built. Early marriages or late ones can break if you don’t set the foundations right, openly and effectively communicate with each other and I can go on. Don’t worry about the age, worry about selecting a better partner for your life who will either make you feel happy or sad.
