We are emotional beings. We constantly feel something about people, situations, circumstances, places, work, career, relationships, and I can keep going on. Now I had read somewhere that ‘Emotions Seduce You’ and I wonder how true this line is!! How we act or do things, the decisions that we take, whether not we get motivated…everything depends on our feelings/emotions.
What happens when we let emotions rule or seduce us?
When we let emotions rule us, the consequences can be endless like for example:
- Anger outbursts
- Excessive stress
- Misunderstandings
- Fights over small matters
- Overthinking
- Emotional eating
- Emotion-based decision making
- Not having boundaries
- Could be cheated or could bear losses due to lack of emotional balance
- Easy to manipulate
- Lack of healthy boundaries
- Low self-esteem
When we let emotions rule us, every emotion that we feel, we want to act upon it. Let me give you an example: You have had a very tiring day and you want to relax after you reach home. You sit with your food and you don’t like what is in your plate even though it isn’t the dish you absolutely hate. Yet you will order something from outside and you will want to binge watch something till you drift off to sleep. In this example, the emotion of wanting to unwind or relax was ruling you and the way you know everyone unwinds also started ruling you to support the process of unwinding. If you would not let this very emotion rule you, most likely you would eat home made food and scroll on your phone for a little while and sleep. Now, this is a very minor example, but you can imagine the consequences if there is anything major.
What happens when we let emotions not rule or seduce us?
When we let emotions not rule us, the consequences can be endless like for example:
- No connection or bonding formation with people
- No emotional connection can result in breaking of the relationship of any nature
- Who would want to stay in touch with someone who doesn’t display any emotion?!
- You could be not considered for meetings or invited in bonding sessions because of lack of display of affection or warmth
- Sometimes not reacting or not letting anything affect you can do more harm than you imagine
- People might take you for granted
- You may get bullied or taken advantaged of just because you don’t display any emotions
The point here is not to completely cut off from emotions that you become a non-reactive person or never let emotions affect you even a little bit. Honestly speaking that can’t happen unless practiced because we are social beings. If you keep your emotions bottled up, they will burst out like a volcano at time and place where you would least expect the volcano to erupt and the consequences won’t be good for you and the people around you. Keeping your emotions locked up isn’t a good sign, locked up emotions can lead to various psychosomatic illness ranging from headaches to even severe health conditions. Why to not express when you can express and feel your emotions.
What happens when we let our emotions seduce us in the right way?
When we sit with our emotions and balance them so that we can express them correctly:
- We can set healthy boundaries
- Manage Anger outbursts
- Express anger in healthy way
- Manage stress effectively
- Resolve misunderstandings effectively and calmly
- Replace fights over small matters with healthy conversations
- Manage overthinking
- Avoid emotional eating
- Take balanced decisions
- Maintain healthy boundaries
- Could be saved from cheated or could bear losses due to emotional balance
- Not be easy to manipulate
- Improved self-esteem
- Improved connection or bonding formation with people
- Better emotional connection can result in maintaining of the relationship of any nature
- Everyone would want to stay in touch with someone who does display emotions
- Higher chanced of being considered for meetings or invited in bonding sessions
- Being able to effectively react or letting go anything that affects you
- By creating and maintaining healthy boundaries you can save yourself from being taken for granted by people
- Being aware of yourself and your emotions you would be able to express them, whether good and healthy or bad or negative effectively so that you can effectively manage them whether it is bullying or being taken advantage of
I am not saying that we should not give importance to our emotions or that we should ignore them. Honestly, sometimes we need emotions to seduce us so that we do what is needed to be done in our lives that help us succeed and move forward. When we can express our emotions, sit with them, acknowledge them, name them and learn to effectively use them so that they drive us, motivate us, let us stay focused to achieve our goals, build and maintain healthy relationships that is when I would like to say that emotions seduce us. Seduction is an art that is done with intention and if we effectively set our intentions right, we can let emotions seduce us. For example: Eustress is positive stress- it helps us move and work towards our goal, passion is positive or nice emotion when we want to build something around it or the passion helps us unwind – like building a business or hobby that is your passion or your field of study, kindness or happiness are positive emotions – but you have to know when to draw boundaries in being kind or when to become serious, anger if used in balance can help you run for your goals or whatever you want to achieve.
The art of managing emotions is in your hands, let me tell you how
- Try to be alone without doing anything with yourself for some time in a day
- Meditation helps a lot in calming yourself down and connecting with yourself
- Journaling can help you manage your thoughts and emotions
- Pausing before any strong emotion can help you either use it well or enjoy it better
- Trying to balance between work and personal life can also give you space to explore your emotions
- Learning the art of effective communication can help you a lot
- Not the last, but most important – listen to your body, it will guide you with your emotions as well as physical concerns
- Exercise
- Music or moving your body
- Engaging in hobby
- Engaging in art – either learning or creating – any form of art
- Meeting or being around people who love and care for you
Can we always balance our emotions?
The answer is no. We will feel totally out of control many times. That doesn’t mean we should feel disheartened or panic, it is completely okay to feel all over the place or being ruled by emotions we don’t want to be ruled with. It doesn’t mean you aren’t doing your job right. The important thing is how you bounce back in control either by taking time off, or meeting up with your trusted people or pursuing hobbies or seeking professional help – everything is great.
