“You are not doing this for me, you don’t love me”, said Smita showing her husband Amit the videos that she was going through.
“Are you really going by those videos Smita?”, he asked to hear “yes” in her reply.

The Social Media Effect

We see lots of content in social media that shows us how should an ideal couple be, or what are the love languages and how they show up, whether your bond is deeper or not deep with your partner, analyzing the relationship on certain questions or points, and what not!!

How does this affect us?
We register information via sounds, visuals and the feeling it leaves for us. the more we keep seeing a particular visual or hearing a particular thing, the better we remember it. Instagram or any other social media’s algorithm currently functions on show more of what you see once principle if you like the content.

The more you see how a relationship is shown in the video, the more you want the same in your relationship, because why not!!
We all want a loving relationship that is equal and there’s nothing wrong in wanting that. But what can be the parameters that you should consider when you want the same relationship as compared to the one shown in social media?!

Things to Consider

Maybe your partner is doing everything that is there in the video but differently and that is okay.
Maybe, your partner may not be emotionally ready to answer those questions.
It can be possible that your partner doesn’t express well but can show you or make you feel better.
You may feel great when you are with your partner because of the little small things that he/she does for you.
Taking care of your smallest needs could be a love language or any other such gesture can be a love language.

We many times, fail to notice the small things or actions that our partner does for us because we get caught in the big picture. Connecting with your partner to share small to big joys and sorrows and effectively communicating with them can do wonders to your relationship, deepen your bond and enhance your love.

In our story, Smita and Amit fought a lot because of a video that she had seen. She felt that she was missing those moments in her marriage and that her husband doesn’t do anything to make her feel loved or wanted. After the fight Amit sat with Smita to have a conversation about using social media and how it is affecting their relationship.
This helped her realize that he was doing a lot for her to feel loved, cared and respected in their marriage. They were discussing about the various milestones they have crossed together helping and supporting each other.
Smita watched her social media usage from then.

In conclusion, using social media to get ideas, inspiration, motivation is always great. But one has to note that reel and real life are different and they will be different. The shortcomings and/or differences that you face in your relationship should be communicated with each other or the couple should consult a relationship counsellor rather than relying on the videos.