What is a Relationship?
It’s about two people wanting and cautiously choose to stick to and choose each other because they have feelings for each other.
Who are those two people?
Those two people are different individuals who have their own lives which they have lived individually before being together with each other.
They have their own dreams, ambitions, friends, values, beliefs, nature and personality and the way they look at life along with what they want from relationship and how they perceive relationships too.
They may have had relationships or they may have their own insecurities regarding to relationships. Their close ones know them inside out and also how they feel, act, react in different situations hence it is easy for people who know them to understand them and help them out.
Why have relationships become difficult during lockdown?
Lockdown is a time where people are at home all day every day. They may have more work when they work from home or they may have no work at all and definitely they are tensed about expenses and salary. During this time people can have many different triggers which may lead to different reactions which their immediate family members can totally understand therefore it becomes easy to handle and support them. But if the same person is married, it may become difficult for their partner to understand them, because probably they too might be facing similar situations and both together as couples might have a difficult time as they feel that its problem versus them.
When things like this happen, there may be fights from both ends because this time neither one might not be in a state to remain calm and understand the other one.
Why more misunderstandings?
Does your partner know you completely? Can your partner understand your triggers or your responses at different situations? Do you both as a team together talk about the problems and fights after everything is over? Are you both ready to listen to each one’s side patiently? Are you both ready to say sorry? Are you both ready to let go off certain things that may not be worth fighting?
The common source of misunderstandings is lack of communication and not able to let go.
It can be possible that your partner doesn’t know you completely and may not know every possible triggers that you could have, probably you yourself may not know your triggers and vise versa. Parents can understand these things because they have seen you grow hence they may have seen you, handled you and been with you at very different phases and life situations, but your partner may not be there at those times. So as a couple, just see this phase positively as a time to know each other deeply and understand each other at deeper level.
Because we have a lifestyle that doesn’t allow us to spend this much amount of time with each other except for the weekends or family occasions and a few dates with just two of you, now staying together with each other without any distractions may make it difficult for each other to cope up with understanding each other because you may not have the chance to explore each other at deep level.
What can be done?
- Remember that it’s not the problem versus you, but you both together versus the problem
- Talk with each other more often about how you are feeling
- Say sorry often and explain more often
- Learn to let go
- When things are calm between you both do talk with each other about what happened, this will help to understand triggers
- Play some games together
- Cook meal together
- Draw/paint together, being creative together can be fun and insightful too
- Different feelings, feelings that can bring up different reactions, certain fights, certain reasons that caused fights, certain behaviors and certain situations that occur aren’t what that person might actually be, so instead of taking decision, remain calm and understand
- For long distance couples, stay connected, otherwise, it’s just like the normal relationship. Have dates online, watch movie or a season or an episode of that season together, eat something that you both made together over a video call and see how these small things can help you maintain a healthy relationship not withering the love between you both.
