According to the statistics mentioned on the internet, divorce rates by years of marriage will continue at or below current rates of 20% ending in first 5 years, 32% ending in first 10 years, 48% ending in 10 years when married before age 18, and 25% ending in 10 years when married after age 25. In places like Delhi, Bengaluru, Mumbai, Kolkata, and Lucknow, divorce applications have risen dramatically in recent years, almost tripled (more than 30%). [Source]

Let’s see Why are Divorce Rates Rising

There could be multiple reasons why people get divorced, especially in Urban Metro Cities. Out of the many reasons that exists, lack of being able to balance work and life can be one of the major reason. If you cannot prioritize your relationship and the time you give and spend with each other, there can be lots of misunderstanding that can be created due to many things that should be said but aren’t told to each other. When one thing leads to the other, it may result in many bigger disagreements and finally leading to separation.

Let’s focus on Other Reasons for Divorce

Lack of Communication
Financial Problems in the family
Emotional Break Down of Relationship
Lack of Trust
Different Values
Unhappiness
Insecurity
Wanting to be independent
Erratic Work Schedule
Alcohol and smoking
Sometimes lack of privacy while staying in a joint family
Infidelity & lack of trust
Taking for granted
Interference of friends and/or family

I read an article recently that says, recent research on factors contributing to rise of divorce are lack of communication between spouses, infidelity, financial stability and incompatibility.

It becomes difficult to determine the causes as that is very individualistic, but these factors cause the marital bond to break. As a result many couples don’t know how to move forward once they reach such a stage or cannot bear living with each other with each passing day.

There are Many Factors that can Contribute to Communication Gap, Infidelity and Incompatibility:
First being, Lack of clarity and spillovers from previous experience: If you have had previous experience of relationship, there is a huge possibility that what you want from a partner is only dependent on your experience from your previous relationship. Basing your find and search only on those factors won’t get you a match that you may want as a life partner.
Second, Being in the idea that the relationship will complete you: No relationship completes you, it only adds value into your existing life and supports your life. Relationships are supposed to make you feel good, but not complete you.
Third, Wanting to feel instant connection and vibe: It is very much possible that you may not get instant spark or vibe with someone who you don’t know at all. Give the person and yourself some time to get to know each other and then decide whether you both can spend the life together or not.
Fourth, Influence of social media: There are no violins going to be played in the background, nor there is going to be rain or clothes responding to sudden wind when you find “the one” or “fall in love”. Social media is supposed to be for entertainment and everyone can post any special moment on social media which is exclusive for social media. Build your relationship on your terms and how you want your relationship, not based on someone’s posts.
Fifth, Different Love Languages and Attachment Styles and lack of understanding of that: Different love languages can make one feel that one isn’t being loved correctly, attachment styles can talk a lot on how you think of the idea of love. Not being able to understand this can also lead to differences.

Many times people don’t have the patience and judge more, this contributes to lack of time and understanding between the couples. Relationship is not only based on looks and other physical attributes, but also on how the person who you are going to spend the life with, is! Stay patient and try to understand the reasons and the person rather than only being impatient and judgmental about the opposite person.

Certain Ways that you can Save your Marriage:

  • Make time for each other
  • Try and match your work schedules so that you both can get free for each other
  • Communicate your needs, past experiences openly with each other
  • Have those difficult and uncomfortable conversations, being vulnerable could bring you closer
  • Have boundaries for extended friends and your friends as to who and what access do they have of your married life
  • Communicate and make time for intimacy
  • Listen to hear and learn how to communicate effectively
  • Talk to a professional

Is getting a Divorce Bad?

No, getting divorce isn’t bad. Getting out of a marriage that is not good for your emotional, mental and physical health is the best gift you can give to yourself because everything in your life starts with you being happy and healthy. It is good if people stand up for what is good for their emotional, mental and physical wellbeing.
It’s just that sometimes there are certain reasons that cause differences and if two people are willing to work for the differences, they should, because it’s good to be in a company that can make you feel happy, connected and loved.